I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
