We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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