She announced her abortion via fbk
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
