So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
