I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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