i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
