I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
