JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
