fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
