I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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