She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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