I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So. Much. Porn.
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