There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
