Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
