Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Found the puke drawer
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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