Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
