i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
