i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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