no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize