i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
No more Irish car bombs ever.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
