i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
