She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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