Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
