She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The air was thick with penises
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
