so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
