Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
