the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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