winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
