these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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