what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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