so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
