You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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