i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
