wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I would fuck him just for his dog
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
