I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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