It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
