Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
