It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Randomize