He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Randomize
