So drunk its hurt
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
