Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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