I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
