I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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