atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize