AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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