Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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