Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
