it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Randomize
