Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
