From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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