i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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