There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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