okay pat passed out under dana's car
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
