Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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