There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
