So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
