her vagine was all disorganized.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize