I'm drive I can fine osifer
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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