Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
