Non-Jews are for practice
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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