woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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