The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Someone shit on the floor
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
