I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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