these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
